In a series on Good Ideas, Our Flirtations with Them, and Our Commitments to Them. _________________________________________________________________________ So I want to talk about the role that advice plays in our decision making.  Really, I should have brought this up before I told you to Just Pick One (a good idea, that is).  Generally, the time to seek counsel is before a commitment!  Oh well, better late than never, right?

2 divided by 2 equals 1, by Cori Dantini. Available on Etsy

You have your Big Idea.  You’re mapping it out in your brain, doodling it in a sketch book, detailing it in your idea journal, making Excel spreadsheets (or not! ), checking out your finances…

-  Do you reach out and ask someone for their perspective on your dream?  Why do you do this?  Or, Why don’t you?

- Who do you typically talk to, if you’re one who’s inclined to seek advice from others?

- Who do you wish you could talk to?

- What do you hope to gain?

I feel like there’s a tension there for us creatives.

On one hand, as expressed by the comments on this very blog, we need people to help us filter our idea-prone minds.   On the other hand, a creative can’t be successful if she is always waiting around for someone’s approval.  (And we do want approval, don’t we!?)

And this, friends, is why life is challenging.

• We need both the tenacity to hold on to an idea in the face of dismissal, and the good sense to listen and let go of it if it isn’t quite right.
• We need the patience to see our ideas from many angles, over a period of time, through other’s eyes, and the decisiveness to act now, when the time is right.

From the Direction series, by Heidi Sorensen Muller

What do you think?  I’d love to hear some of your thoughts and experiences with this…   Thanks!

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This is part of a series on Good Ideas, Our Flirtations with Them, and Our Commitments to Them.
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I’m a person who doesn’t know that I’ve thought until I’ve spoken it out loud, or written my thought down.  This is why I LOVE friends, coffee, and fresh paper. Whether you’re my type of an idea-phile, or more of a reserved “just between me and my diary” type; writing, documenting, and listing the ideas that pop into our heads is essential to harnessing their energy.

Keep a List, and No “Pooh-Poohing”

When I used to work at Urban Concern, a co-worker would always remind us that there was to be no “pooh-poohing” of ideas that came up at staff meetings.  Well, initially, at least.  That is the sense in which you are to keep your idea notebook.  It is a dumping ground for every idea that comes into your head:  the good, the bad, and the “maybe you should see a therapist”.

Oh, and this is just the best for idea-philes.  It’s absolutely guilt free day dreaming. How fun is that?  Of course, though, none of us really aspire to be only dreamers.  We are, after all, Makers.  So what to do when this ongoing list keeps growing, and we still remain hesitant (fearful) to stop jotting and act?

Please Pick One

Just Pick One  

There are unlimited good ideas in life, but our lives themselves are limited – even if only by the 70 or so years we’re given.  A very wise friend counseled my idealistic and driven- dreamer husband this way…  She said that life is like a box of chocolates (no, I’m not going all Forrest Gump on you!), and that eventually you have to pick one to eat.

Once you choose your chocolate, you need to enjoy it, savor it, be grateful for it, and STOP wondering what it would have been like had you picked the one that may have had truffle filling!

(OK, I have to confess – I DID eat every. single. piece. of chocolate in that box after I took the photo.  That doesn’t really work with my analogy, but I had to tell you anyhow.  )
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This week, I encourage you to give your ideas a voice in a notebook.  (Remember to work on your Yes List, too).  We’ll wrap up with some thoughts on the value of counsel in the next few days.

We’ve established that there are a lot of good ideas out there, and that a lot of us have them, a lot of the time.  We’ve also established that despite this fact,it can be difficult to grab hold of this kind of creative energy, and really see it through to fruition.

For the next couple posts, let’s talk about strategies that help us weed through the pile, pick a good idea and commit!  - This post is a little longer, but read through to the end to see how it bears on your creative ideas.  I’d LOVE for some of you to share your “Yes” lists in the comments!

Focus

1.  Know your Big Picture focus  (What will you say YES to?)

This is so much more fun to think about than all the things you might have to say “no” to! I’ve learned that part of growing up is that you make:

fewer and fewer decisions between good and bad…
-   should I get really drunk tonight at my work party, or should I remain sociably sober?

and more decisions between good and better.
-  should I spend Saturday hiking with my friends or baking cookies with my kids?

The simplest way to deal with the constant barrage of “good v. better” decisions is to clearly know what you will always say “Yes” to.

Grab your cutest notebook, and start to jot a list.

What will I say "yes" to?

- I will always say yes to my family.
- I will always say yes to my friends.
- I will aways say yes to my neighbors.
- I will always say yes to spiritual growth, to God.

3 Things:

1.  This is my list.  Yours doesn’t have to be like it.  My list is not perfect, and will get tweaked as I learn more and fail more.

2.  Keep your list short.  Leaving something off doesn’t mean you can’t do it, it just means that you won’t do it at the expense of a “yes” on your list.

3.  ”I will always say yes” has a context.  For instance, I do not mean that every time my kid wants something, I will give it to him, or that every time a friend asks for coffee I will drop everything and head out.

Example:  My oldest son plays football.  Most of his games this year have conflicted with the time that we go to church.  There’s a tension there, to be sure…  it seems that there’s almost a cultural mandate to be at every one of your kids’ sporting events, or risk being a bad parent.

Theo, #54

With my “yes” list in mind, I talked to my son, and told him that I love him being in football because he loves it.  I want him to learn to stick with the things he commits to, so I endorse his participation, and want to be there often.  However, his participation in football can’t compromise my spiritual growth, the nurturing of my closest friendships, nor the rest of our family’s interests. (My kids all LOVE going to church – probably because our church is not churchy. )

So see, there are 3 yeses there…  my family, my friends, my spiritual growth.  They helps me to make this good v. better decision.

Good Ideas

OK.  That’s Cool. But How Do “Yeses” Help Me Creatively?

The great ideas that you can do, that you will do, that you will complete successfully, are the ideas that work in your life.  If you go into an idea enterprise blindly, what happens is that a few months into it, you realize it’s not fitting into your life.  It’s pushing up against “yeses” that you didn’t know you had.  You will drop that idea, after having likely already jeopardized some “yeses”, and wind up feeling discouraged about the whole “good idea’ thing.

Yeses help you trim your idea list to the ones at which you can succeed!

(We’ll talk about idea lists later – keep all of those good ideas!  Your “yes” list will change as your life changes, and you may find you can then succeed at some of those “listed” ideas.  Pie Shop, anyone?)

Please note:  This post is about the BIG ideas – business ventures, new directions in life, time consuming commitments.  If you have lots of good ideas for tweaking a Toll House cookie recipe, or painting your bathroom, or writing a poem, have at it!  No need to consult the “yes” list.

Alright now, peeps – let’s hear about some Yes Lists in the comments section!  I’m sure it will be thought provoking.  See you next week!  I’m out for a weekend away.  Yay!!!